Confessions of a "recovering" Perfectionist

Well, dear friends...I supposed I should begin this blog with the following introduction: "Hi...my name is Megan. I'm a recovering perfectionist."

Yes, it's true. I know it may be hard for some of you to believe (haha), but I'm a dyed-in-the-wool, type-A, "J", "Martha, not Mary", control-freak, goal-oriented woman of God...living in a country whose very essence is completely opposite to my nature.

So far, Mozambique has eluded my attempts to control, to change, and to conform. Instead, I've been the one who is being transformed...I've been rendered a blathering idiot on the best days, and a frustrated snivelling blob on the worst days (which, by the way, have been quickly fixed by an iced coffee and chocolate)! (Read...comic overstatement). It's a bit like the movies when it goes into slo-mo....everything I try to do (including speaking) is slowed waaaay down. No microwave, instant, fast-food life here! Perhaps this too, is a blessing in disguise.

When sharing my frustrations with others, the response has been, "TIA: This is Africa!" or, "TAB: That's Africa, Baby!" like that's somehow reassuring....(grin).

However, I believe there's a deeper lesson here for me to learn - one that I'd like to share with you. What I'm slowly realizing is that it's not TIA...but it's "TIG: This is GOD!" Yes, God, in His infinite wisdom and grace, is giving me a learning opportunity.

The reality is that I cannot control anything - even in the US, mind you. While I know this to be true in my head, it's my heart that has a hard time wrapping itself around this truth and embracing my inadequacy. So, God sent me to Africa - out of the "wading pool" and into the "tidal wave" of learning to TRUST HIM - even in the mystery of it all. It's like He's inviting me to surf - as there's no way to control the waves of His plans for our lives. Pray with me that I will release my "death grip" on the surf-board of faith and enjoy the ride!

EXAMPLE: Our truck was starting to have some problems. Josh took a look at it, and discovered that our recently serviced truck had no coolant and a broken line. While this situation completely altered the plans for the day, it's timely discovery allowed us to get it fixed before Brian took Ross (see picture above) to Chokwe to work with Peter Ernst (dear friend and community health worker) for a few months. God's mercy averted a major disaster!

So for those of you who can relate to this perfectionist on her way to becoming a surfer, "Surf's up!"

"O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast unmeasured, boundless, free. Rolling as a mighty ocean, in it's fullness over me...."

Hanging 10, Megan